A Nigerian guy, John Walker has given a lecture on how to become a runs girl on social media and it’s quite hilarious. It’s all sarcasm, so just enjoy.
Start your handles with names like Pweedy, Wf, Olori, Sexy, King, Hawt, Barbie, Posh, Berry, HRH etc; Another thing! Never use traditional names, always go by foreign names such as Cassandra, Daniella, Pamela, Corrolla, Rubella, Dickella, Pussella; Don’t ask what they mean, I don’t know & you shouldn’t bother either, just use them as your colleagues do!
As your job demands, post demi-semi nudes, semi-nudes or even nudes & “circula” them. Then sit back, relax and bask in the euphoria of likes, comments & praises, please remember how extremely busy & tush you are to respond to compliments. Twerking & seductive videos help a lot!!! ……….
Elegance is key! From different exotic cars to expensive hotels, luxurious beds & bathrooms (avoid repetition), exquisite clubs, bars, lounges & restaurants guarantee you respect & prestige. Also, you cannot afford to be seen in local places on your SM locations, it must be Lekki, Ikoyi, VGC, Chevron & environ. ……….
Always type “lyk dis n [email protected]” when chatting, afterall you don’t need to engage/be engaged in non profitable discussions so good grammar is unecessary; your industry is a direct-to-transaction anyway so you don’t need to know how to read or spell. Fake accent, diction, intonation & gesticulation are added advantages. ……….
Use phones more expensive than your annual home rent, fix hairstyles more expensive than your father’s annual salary, your make-up kit is higher than your school fees. These & other characteristics differentiate you from low class girls and will make them envy you! Don’t worry, Glo with pride & rule your world! ……….
Lastly, when you hit it big, do the following. Be a celebrity & in the news always, motivate others on how you started from nothing to something, any relationship problem must be attributed to domestic violence, be spiritual, endeavour to write long epistles on SM, remind your fans how broke & common they are, embrace feminism, be philanthropic. Rant about “haters” and their “poor mentality”. ……….
P.S IF you have joint issues with sarcasm & comprehension #ComeAndBeatMe #InMyOshodiOffice .